Oh Snaps I'm Gay!

Every once in a while, I just kind of forget. I wake up late in the mornings, scratch my ass, and stare at the clothes I ripped off of myself last night, wondering if I could get away with wearing them again today. My life is not pretty.

So it's easy to forget. But then, I find myself daydreaming about escaping the drudgery that is my life, and heading somewhere else. And my daydreams don't just consist of a rusted old boat in the middle of a pond where I fish between hours of drinking. Oh no. They're full of art galleries and women in expensive dresses and - dare I say it - glitter. GLITTER, people.

That's when I start quoting Barbra Streisand in the only song of hers I'd allow myself to listen to. I have got to move.