Kiss Me, I'm Turning Irish

Ok, so last weekend. For the first time ever, I tried Guinness.

Well, maybe I should backtrack.

I'm on a half-a**ed quest to find out find out which drink works best for me. When I turned 21, no one laid a buffet of Mai Tais and Margaritas out in front of me and said "you're not moving from that spot till you puke or pass out." I was pretty much on my own.

And in a year's time, I've tried the occasional drink here or there. Specifically:

Sex on the Beach - kind of tastes like a jollyrancher....only, with alcohol.

Screwdriver - I thought this was one of the most basic drinks out there, but every other time I've ordered it, someone says "ooo, what's that?" It's vodka and orange juice, comrades. It's a nice basic drink to start with, and you can feel classy ordering it by name, knowing that the bartender will know how to make it.

Fuzzy Navel - This was my number one mixed drink choice for a long time, even though I've only ever made my own. It's simply peach schnapps and orange juice. Citrus is great with alcohol because it masks the bitterness, but this here is a nice fruit combination that really slides down easily. Thankfully schnapps is not as high in alcohol content as some of these other drinks, or else you'll be wondering what happened to your underwear way before someone suggests a game of naked tag out in the backyard.

Rum and Coke - Carbonation helps make you feel drunker, faster. So, if that's your goal, this is your drink. But, if you ask me, the coke usually doesn't mask the rum enough for it to be an enjoyable drink.

Pina Colada - This is a must try, if only so you have the excuse of singing "if you like pina coladas~" later on in the night. The drink, however, is far sweeter than the song. (Really? You catch your spouse cheating on you and you're just like 'ooh hoo, well, isn't this funny? I was trying to cheat on YOU! Ha, how adorable. What a coinkidink. Let's go home...' How bloody unlikely. This too will hit you, later on in the night)

Margarita - I finally got around to trying tequila. And you know what? It's dangerous; don't do it. Unless of course you're watching Desperate Housewives. Then, it's mandatory. And you may not stop giggling.

Long Island Iced Tea - Same deal as a Margarita, only while watching the Real Housewives of (closest) City/County.

And finally, my all time absolute favorite mixed drink, is sake with orange juice. Sake is incredibly smooth, so, when mixed with just about anything, it's difficult to detect. So naturally, mixed with orange juice, it's practically an alcoholic date rape drink (as a general rule, if you go to someone's house at 10 o'clock at night, and they offer you orange juice, decline. Decline, decline, access: denied. Because, it could totally be a sake orange juice. But, if you're amongst friends, give this drink a try, especially if you're not a fan of the burning sensation of booze, or you just want to try something different. It goes down that easy.) As a matter of fact, it seems, sake is rarely stocked in bars, and after some searching, I haven't found an official name for this drink. Someone called it a Sake Screwdriver, but, I don't think that does this drink justice. It should have it's own, super cool name, like Far East Sun, or Asian Navel.

Because, as teenagers not allowed to drink the US, my friends and I would go to TGIF and pour over their drink menus, reading out the awesome sounding names and wishing that 'Sprite' and 'Pepsi' had a much cooler names, like 'Buttery Nipple' or 'Kamikaze'. It's all in the name, guys.

But anyway, I digress. Back to Guinness.

Beer has been something of an obstacle for me, cause it typically tastes like crap. It's bitter, abrupt, and overall best left to cowboys and frat guys who have to purchase alcohol in large commodities. But Guinness? Wow. It's incredibly smooth...almost chocolatey smooth. And creamy. I'm a sucker for anything creamy, and I make killer milkshakes to prove it. (Not to brag, but it does bring boys to the yard. And damn right - it's better than yours.) Guinness is a definite two thumbs up, but my beer list is pretty small. So far, it's been victoria bitter, budlight, yuengling, stella artois, and guinness, in order both of my trying it, and in taste. So, I'm assuming that I'm finally developing the taste buds to distinguish between certain beers, and not just finding them all to be abrasive.

But...if there are any recommendations out there, as to which ones to try next, I'm certainly willing to give it a try.